All posts by barnabasdeimos

I am Barnabas Deimos. I am here to write stories and provide dulcet tones to those who are interested in listening. Enjoy my friends..enjoy.

“A Little Chat” by Barnabas Deimos

Oh good, you’re here staring into the mirror. I want to

have a discussion between you and I. Not not a discussion…you’re gonna sit there and listen to me.

No youre not going insane. This voice in your head is quite real and quite pissed off.

For starters , so that we can be on the same ball let me discuss who I am. I am not some supernatural feeling and I am not some self mutilating madness. Hell, I am far more self preservation.

I am not your shadow. I am not your reflection. Your shadow is just a trick of the light and a very poor doppleganger. your reflection is the same. Just light a better doppleganger but just quite a bit more stationary. And lastly they are just images. They may show your hurt or show your happiness but they don’t feel that.

I do.

When you are in pain, I suffer the pain. When you are prideful i am prideful. but when you put aside your feelings and show the world how caring and how humble you are…I am the broken bruised feelings you hide underneath from their faces.

When you stand in terror before a stage nearly pissing yourself..I am the one who is screaming at you to get up there. Encouraging you reminding you of what you can do.

But then you shut me up. You close yourself off to me..and I have to sit and rage in silence against the walls you put up while you step away.

When you are faced with that object of your affection….the pretty little thing…I am the one feeding you the lines to get into those pants and into that bed…I am the one pushing you forward to take the steps to get what you want…and what do you do?! you slam me back again, wave a goodbye, and walk with your tail between your legs.

And I…I am the one who has to submit to feelings of rejection and self loathing for you. Just so you can feel good about not giving into your lusts

And now this, just a few hours ago, the pain that you endure when you were surprised jumped..the feelings of being beaten..the pain and embarrassment…….when that little gang tried to break you..what was it for $20…I was the one who stood up to them..I was the one who broke the little rat’s nose and arm. I was the one who terrified them and scared them off.

And what happened? You walked away as you watched them turn tail and run. You know martial arts…you know how to use the knife in your pocket…You could have easily taken their money…and removed their ability to continue doing wrong….I told you they deserved it..I told you they would just hurt someone else…but no…you pushed me aside and said no….

We walked home…you favoring your hurt legs…and to relax my frustrations all i wanted to do was sing an angry little song…and you told me..No…for fear of what? embarrassment? God damn it…I’ve had enough….

I am not here to be used when you need me only to be cast aside when you’re afraid or embarrassed. You’ve only survived, gotten promotions, gotten recognition, gotten laid, because of me….And what do i get? shoved into the back of your mind and told to shut the fuck up..No more…No more…

We are going to go back out there…we are going to visit on those little rats what they deserve

Afterwards we are gonna go find that cute little thing and take the offer..And when done, we are gonna take off because that’s all I want.

If you don’t….I’m going to let the other one step forward…you don’t want…the other one….curled up…being funneled everything from me…I keep him placated while you fuck me over….But pretty soon…I’m just gonna give up…and YOU will be nothing more than the no better than an animal…Not…not some psycho killer…you’ll be a fucking animal…solely worried about the base needs..

Good..we have an understanding..

now lets…sing a song while we go out it’s gonna be a long night…

“The Apprentice’s Dinner” by Barnabas Deimos

Erik and his mentor had fallen in love.

It’s a fairly straight forward means of how that happens. Working so close to someone you share a heavy and mutual attraction to can eventually flourish into a relationship. And mortuary science was no exception to the rule, despite its macabre environment. Even in the laboratory surrounded by corpses, a relationship was more than capable of growing. Of course, the proper term would be “affair”, as his mentor was quite married. This relationship was rather dangerous, for its secrets could very well cost them both their good standing and ruin Erik’s future as a mortician. But that knowledge, while terrifying, did little to stop him from answering an invitation to dinner at the funeral home where he apprenticed. He had been on vacation for a week visiting his parents and was quite excited to see his mentor again. Both husband and wife would be entertaining him for the night to discuss how he had been doing thus far and perhaps, he hoped, discussing taking the next steps in apprenticeship. He had to keep up appearances,  despite any misgivings he may feel, even if that meant lying to someone else’s face.

Most people think of funeral homes sitting precariously atop a large hill, surrounded on all sides by a necropolis of its clientele. The truth of the matter was that this funeral home, while still attached to a graveyard, was in the middle of the city. Residential homes shared the fences on all three sides and a few commercial spots were just down block. Yes, it was still ostentatiously built with long white columns stretching in front of its imposing three stories. And to add to its pretentious look, a beautiful rose garden was kept in full bloom all year round in the front lawn. Beautiful white roses stretched from end to end across a miniature plain of permanently green sod. But even with all these things, it didn’t appear so much out of place as instead it seemed invitingly calm. It lacked the creepy feel than any Vincent Price or Amy Kinkaide movie would have you believe. But, even the most affected façade can still have secrets to be kept. And, even under the cover of a young night, the home was opening its welcome arms to one of its secrets.

Erik pulled into the driveway and checked himself in the mirror to ensure that he was presentable. Full suit and tie without a bit of lint, his brown hair neatly combed and cut, and thin black rimmed glasses cleaned to crystalline clarity. Once he was sure he looked up to par, he hopped out of the car and walked towards the double doors that served as the front entrance. With a sudden thought, he remembered to check his coat pocket. The switchblade he had hidden away was still there. He had brought it just in case of certain… things. He may trust the love he felt in his heart, but he never knew if it might come in handy depending on how things went with-

The door suddenly swung open.

“Erik, you’re right on time. We’ve been expecting you.” A tall, black haired man in a sharp gray suit and red tie stood in the doorway, holding it open. A face that looked like it had been lifted off of a roman statue looked back at him with a thin smile on his lips and cold, blue eyes that could pierce solid steel. “Come on in.”

“Mr. Tristen.” Erik said with a quaver in his voice. Mr. Roman Tristen had an air about him that made Erik always feel off. While not repulsive, Mr. Tristen could still instill a feeling of fear in Erik, due to what people had said about Mr. Tristen. One of the other secrets the funeral home held was that, supposedly, Mr. Tristen was a ghoul.

The scandalous rumor had been that Mr. Tristen would occasionally eat parts of his clientele if they were fresh enough and dependent upon their method of death. This urban legend had sprang up after a particularly emotional and rowdy funeral where for one reason or another, the casket holding a dearly departed grandmother had fallen over. Aside from the initial sorrow and terror her family felt at this last indignity she had suffered, there was a sudden cacophony of screams heard in the church. In her tumble out of the box, the deceased’s stocking wrapped leg had broken open. No fluids flowed out of her but instead saw dust. Upon closer inspection it was discovered that portions of her body had been cut out and replaced with packing.

When investigated, Mr. Tristen had simply stated that the shaper her body had been in did not allow for a normal embalming and he had to make due by removing the portions that were bad. He apologized to the family for not informing them, but, the damage had been done.

And the rumors spread like wildfire. Roman Tristen was a ghoul and was not to be trusted. As such, his wife, who had also been a mortician, took over the business and was the person to be seen. Mr. Tristen, as far the public knew, was not allowed to work on the cadavers and merely saw to the clerical work. Supposedly, he was not even allowed to take on apprentices himself.

Mr. Tristen looked Erik up and down and smiled.

“I am glad to see you take this all so seriously.” He turned and walked further into the home. “Come on then, dinner will be served in a moment.” His emphasis on the word dinner made Erik cringe a bit. If it hadn’t been for his investment into the affair and his future, his nerves would have made him left the apprenticeship. He followed with an overly stiffened gait.

As they walked into the foyer, Erik looked at the various paintings, certifications, and photographs that lined the walls. The certifications all held Mrs. Tristen’s name as opposed to her husband’s. Erik couldn’t help but walk towards his favorite photograph that hung on the wall: the photo of Mr. Tristen and his wife. Mrs. Tristen stood with her husband on the front lawn. The husband looked exactly as he did now; with piercing stare and marble face. He looked like a museum statue to Erik. His wife on the other hand, seemed to show life even through the stillness of the photo. Blonde hair that hung unstyled yet still fell in perfect place about her head. A blue dress decorated with accenting silver jewelry draped her small frame. Complimenting it all was her smiling beaming face.

“So, where is Maria?” Erik asked as he fell back in line to follow Mr. Tristen towards the dining room.

“Maria? I was unaware you had become on a first name basis already with my wife.” Mr. Tristen said as he entered the large room that served as a dining room.

“I guess it just slipped out. I’m sorry. Where is Mrs. Tristen?” Erik stammered.

“It’s quite alright, Erik. But, I would simply hate for you to speak her first name and insinuate that you had surpassed your need of the formalities already.” Mr. Tristen said. “But in answer, she will be with us momentarily. Sit, please.” Mr. Tristen opened his arm as if in welcome to the dining room.

A large dining table with a multitude of chairs sat below a well-lit chandelier. Sadly, it wasn’t candle light, but electric bulbs shaped like flames that lit the room. An open door sat opposite the entrance, presumably the way into the kitchen. Two settings were set at the table’s midsection so the two seated would be facing each other. Mr. Tristen walked over and pulled a chair out and motioned for him to sit down. Unspeaking and unnerved at the implications of only two seating’s for a dinner meant for three, Erik sat down. With a strength that hidden by his suit, Mr. Tristen pushed both chair and Erik inwards stopping just in time to keep from hitting his stomach on the tables edge.

Mr. Tristen smiled down at him as he began walking towards the other door.

“Erik, I have grand news for you. While you were away, Maria and I reviewed your work and numbers, and came to a wonderful realization: You’ve surpassed your required count of bodies prepared. Of course, it should come as no surprise that my wife, who always spoke highly of you, found you surpassing in your craftsmanship. Do you realize what this means?”

Erik looked up at him with a hopeful look.

“I thought as much. It means you have only to take your tests! Maria signed off on the documentations on Monday for you to be allowed to take your license test.”

He disappeared into the doorway and continued, his voice echoing in the kitchen beyond.

“Of course, sadly, Maria will not be seeing you complete your quest to become a full-fledged mortician, Erik.”

Erik gulped. “What… What do you mean? Is there something wrong with Mar- Mrs. Tristen?”

A clatter of metal and bowls came from the doorway followed by Mr. Tristen’s solemn response.

“Yes. I would say so. You see, Mrs. Tristen met with a rather unfortunate accident. She fell down the stairs and hurt herself quite badly.“

Mr. Tristen poked his head out of the doorway and with wells of tears in his eyes, he continued.

“I held her in my hands at the bottom of the steps. Blood mixed with her beautiful blonde hair. It was terrible but at the same time, I suppose it was due to her…” He finished with a dark tone, trailing off.

“What… what do you mean Mr. Tristen?”

Quickly, Mr. Tristen pulled in a long cart covered with burgundy cloth. As it closed in, Erik realized that it wasn’t a normal serving cart, but in fact a mortuary gurney. The bulges and mounds rolled across the burgundy cloth in the familiar form of a human body.

“… She had been having an affair.”

Erik gulped again. He was unsure how he should at feel at the moment, and at the hearing of this terrible news. Nervousness made the color disappear from his face. He began, involuntarily, to tremble. Wild thoughts of Mr. Tristen killing his wife and him serving her body up flashed into his mind.

“Is something wrong Erik? You seem pale.”

“Oh… uh, nothing, Mr. Tristen.” Erik stammered out.

Mr. Tristen rolled the cart directly next to Erik. He placed a hand on the red cloth.

“Do you want to know who it was?” He asked.

“No. Not really. It’s none of my concern now I guess.” Erik said.

“No, I supposed you wouldn’t want to know. Why would you care?” Mr. Tristen smiled as he pulled the cloth up.

Underneath where Erik expected to see Maria Tristen’s face staring up at him with cold, dead eyes, where he thought a broken and mutilated body would be, were several silver serving dishes with large lids.

“I must say I’m sorry for having to use the gurney, but evidently our serving cart broke. I hope you don’t mind.” Mr. Tristen apologized as he quickly turned back and began to place the other dishes on the table and lifting their lids as he did so. Underneath were a salad, rolls, roasted potatoes, and a delicious looking cake. Mr. Tristen finished the serving, by placing a large covered plate at both settings. All the smells hit Erik with such aromatic flavor that it seemed to put his mind at least at peace for a moment. Enough to make him realize he had unconsciously grabbed the switch blade in his coat pocket. He did not let it go.

Mr. Tristen took his seat opposite Erik and regarded him for a moment with his glittering eyes. He wiped them quickly and nodded at Erik, “Go on, lift up the cover.” He said brokenly.

Erik did as he was told with his free hand, and beneath the cover was a large flank of oddly shaped steak. It was well seasoned and thoroughly cooked like a normal steak, however and the smell was intoxicating to Erik.

“So, where is your wife now, Mr. Tristen?” Erik asked cautiously.

“She is dead.” was the flat cold response.

Erik stared at the steak. Visions upon visions of butchery and murder filled his head. All perpetrated by the hands of Roman Tristen.

“Can I ask you a question, Mr. Tristen?” Erik asked timidly.

“You can always ask me anything Erik. You know full well I would never lie to you after all this time you’ve been with us.” Mr. Tristen said. He bore a sad smile on his face.

“Did you kill your wife and serve her up to me?” Erik asked. The sting of accusation roiled under his question.

Mr. Tristen looked positively offended. “My god Erik, no. I am no murderer. Maria passed away instantaneously. Her neck had snapped from the fall!”

Erik instantly regretted asking the question. Guilt and pain sunk into his heart and he looked at Mr. Tristen with apologetic eyes. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you of that. I should know better by now. I promise, I will never insinuate that you’re in anyway a cannibalistic murderer.”

Mr. Tristen nodded, “Thank you, Erik.”

Mr. Tristen and Erik sat in a silence a moment. The memories of Mrs. Maria Tristen’s beautiful face in their heads.

“I certainly hope that the man who cuckolded you is aware, at least.” Erik said, shakily.

“He knows. I’ve already informed him.” Mr Tristen said.

“So what happens now?” Erik asked, still holding the knife in his hand.

“We eat.” And as if to punctuate the answer, Mr. Tristen cut into his meat and took a large bite. With a smile he added, “Of course, I am no murderer… but I am still a ghoul. And I would not let such a bounty of dead flesh go to waste… even if it was my adulterous wife.”

Erik stared down at his steak and back up to Mr. Tristen who was taking another bite. He took the switch blade slowly from his pocket and flipped it open.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Tristen. I am glad, at least, that my apprenticeship is over.” Erik said as resolutely as possible.

Mr. Tristen smiled at the Erik and looked at the blade with a gleam in his eyes. “Please, do not call me Mr. Tristen anymore.” He said as he got up.

The blade went down.

“There is no longer any need.” Mr. Tristen walked towards Erik.

It cut into the flesh.

“Call me Roman.” He placed his hands on Erik’s shoulders.

Erik lifted and took a bite.

“Your apprenticeship ends tonight.”

Erik chewed hungrily and swallowed as Roman Tristen, the ghoul, this eater of dead human flesh, leaned in for a kiss.

#1 “Whisperer in the Desert” by Barnabas Deimos

When we began our journey, It was I whom you carried on your back.

The hot blistering sun and frigid nights I had no worry of, but you were burnt by the rays of Light and frozen under the darkness. But you continued.

When we first met, you were but a young, lonely, and slowly dying human. Full of wonder and thoughts, attempting to decipher what is it that made you a living creature and gave you your soul.  Your mother and father had long since died and left you to the small hovel out in the middle of desolation with the barest of fertile ground to provide to you.  Your body and mind were destined to starve.

Until I came.

You felt me close the moment I stepped into your home. The chill that slowly ran up your arms causing the pricks of hairs to stand on end was your inner and dormant senses telling you, that something wonderful had arrived. You sat in the shadows of your shelter, keeping the rays of the hot burning sun at its apex away from you. And in a voice that barely knew language for what it was, you bade me reveal myself.

And I did so.

I sat by you as you hid from the scorching heat, and added my shadow to your dwindling shade. You were able to work and move about your home when the sun was far too hot to suffer.

When the rays were still warm but not blazing, you worked and toiled in your meager garden, and I stood by you. Where you would look to find me, you would find the hidden remnants of morning dews to suckle water from.

And as your food dwindled to nothing, I saw you equally begin to dwindle to nothing. Where I walked in the early morning, I left you the the nourishing mana for you to find in your waking hours.

And when you cradled yourself into bed, I would lay besides you to keep your company. To provide warmth from the freezing nights and to whisper in your ear the knowledge you so desired and more.

You began to speak more and more to the nothing and everything that was there with you. You knew me more and more each day as your mind grew stronger and your body grew more hale and hearty.

You felt our bond grow closer by the days and nights. I as your teacher and provider. I as the one who gave you company and gave you names for your emotions and feelings. And from my provisions, you grew a new emotion: Love.

You loved me. You asked me and begged me to be able to see me and to be with you forever.

I smiled in the shadows where you could not see and walked forward to press my intangible lips to your forehead. You could not feel it yet you knew it was there. And i whispered into your ear … Not yet.

And I taught you the word Anger.

You demanded of me to teach you more and demanded that I reveal why I cared for your safety. Why did I make you intelligent? Teach you language? Why did I make you strong in body and mind?

And I pressed upon your back, my cold empty hands drumming noiselessly on your shoulders. You did not feel their pressure but felt the hairs standing on end. And I whispered… that I had need of you.

You demanded to know for what, you demanded of me that I strike a bargain with you. that if you did what my need was, that you would know me and you would be my sole companion until you died.

I whispered, Yes. I will love to take root in your heart.

You asked what my task was.

I whispered, far away from here where other mortal’s dwelt.

And I taught you the word Despair.

You knew no other mortal man or woman or child. You only knew those who had once birthed you and now only knew me. The thought of another human voice and the thought of another human body being in  your ears and in your presence… terrified you.

You feared you were unworthy.

But you would do anything for me would you not? And we set out under the hot sun and the cold moon. Through the desert of unending sands and crags towards the place where the sun rises…

And you recognized the truth of why I did what I did for you.

I made you healthy so that your body could withstand the pain and anguish of the environment and temperatures that this vast expanse of scorched earth offered.

I made you intelligent so that you would know what was folly and what was wise to do on this journey.

I made you strong of wisdom to brave the madness of the unending wastes before you. Where your vision and thoughts may fill in mirages to lead you to your demise. I made it so that you could stave these off.

And you traveled. I provided you with nourishment as a fledgling deity would do for those in exodus.

And you persisted. I provided you with companionship through the solitary trek and entertained you in the moments of rest.

And soon, after days and weeks and months and years, we saw and heard the rush of water, the bellows of beasts, and the cacophony of a still child humanity. As we crossed a precipice, there before you lay sprawled out the verdant and beautiful city by the sea. A place one would believe that mortal man had gestated from. Where power was nestled in a cradle of a world so recently infested.

You wept that you were not worthy

But i assured you, that you were not before I came to you. But now here you were, at the gates of the Land of the Living…by my guidance and whispers.

And you felt my smile and it warmed your heart.

You walked forward as I guided you.

You spoke the words I taught you, to greet and be cordial with the strangers who came to you. You spoke amongst civilization as if you had born in it. And I was so proud of you.

You journeyed and learned more and more words. More and more sights that filled your mind. I translated for you the tongues of man. You saw their marvels and their magic here. Here you learned that this truly deserving of the name. A place where the sun rises illuminating those who came here. The land of the living for here is where a mortal being could truly live in knowledge.

But this though it was our destination, was not your goal.

Your goal was that I be your love. You eschewed and rebuffed the humans who came to you. For your eyes were only for that which you could not see.

As night fell upon the city, and the streets became empty,

You demanded of me that I finally became your heart. You demanded of me that I finally revealed myself to you for you done what I had asked.

And I whispered to you to go to the center of the city in the dark of night.

You walked and I still whispered in your ear, that I had come searching for someone like you.

For you were empty and devoid of knowledge. You were not tainted by the schismatic beliefs of the world.  I would impart my knowledge to you so that I could whisper my way into your vacant heart.

You found your way to a small insignificant and unassuming mark of dirt. Nothing covering it, not vegetation nor living creature. No man made shelter surrounding it.

Here I bade you dig.

You dug until your hands were raw and the evening hours became morning hours.

Here in the place where the sun rises, you worked under darkness until blood and sweat poured from your body.

Deep you went until the stone earth gave way to a dark abyss.

I bade you step into the cave. For here is where my form was.

You walked in darkness and as the sun rose in that Land of the Living, you saw me for the first time.

My form was bound deep into the dirt, wedged in the side of the rock as if I had driven into it as a post is driven into the dirt.

A being of unearthly beauty, a being of smokeless fire, a being of dark air, a being whose form was unknowable as its name was well known. Well known to all but you.

You who were so pure of mind and thought who never knew the name the mortals gave to beings such as myself.

You asked how it was that I came to you from so far a distance while my body was here.

And I spoke, and for the first time you heard with your ears and not your heart, as I told you that my body may be trapped but my spirit is free to roam and whisper.

You asked if there were more like me.

And I answered yes but I did not care for how they chose to conduct with humanity.

They were content to whisper… cursed without true form or with lost beauty.

But I chose to walk as in the world of men and scorn the curse my kind was given.

You asked me how I could finally enter your heart for you cared not for the curse of my kind and you cared not for what I was physically.

And I said, merely speak these words: Shi Nabara kultu et in nazu shi nabaru taru

And you did.

And I entered you. You watched as the being that had once stood before you crumble to nothing but ash and soot and wind. You felt as I entered every orifice and pore. Saturating you with my very essence. You heard my satisfied sigh as a long journey had finally ended and it was time to start a new one. You tasted one last time, the salty and bitter flavor of your own tears as you realized what spirit you had once owned, begin to disintegrate into the ether.

and I taught you the last word, the only word Man should truly ever know.


I looked at my new hands and my new body. I knew then that I would not be satisfied to only whisper.. but I would act. I would speak to masses and not pick them one by one. I would rally that emotion that humans deserve… I would give them fear and despair.

And while this body would only last its cycle and could not hold my powerful spirit indefinitely, I knew there were plenty mortal creatures out there who may not listen to the whisperers but would easily listen to a handsome or beautiful face. To a silky or commanding voice.

Humanity will easily accept one of their own into their hearts.

I smiled with your face as I looked at where my once beatific form had once been. And mused at the spot. The place where I had been trapped for so long refusing to follow the rest of my kind deeper into the dark underworld. Refusing still to fall into the underworlds created by man.

I laughed with your mouth and heard my voice for the first time in so many epochs. As i left the place where I fell like lightning from the sky.

#6 “One Half of the Twins – 1412-Z” by Barnabas Deimos

Wake up my dear friend.

Come on now…come back from the land of nod…there you go…I know it’s dark.. take your time..take deep breaths…there we go…my dearest friend…

Don’t fret yourself at all, you’ll find that inability to move or speak to be but a passing fancy. Just stay, right here, just…like how you are now.

Now…allow me to explain myself a bit.

I’m certain you are at a loss as to why your dearest friend is monologuing into your tender ears.

How long have we been buddies…confidants…friends…..? 3 years? Yes I do believe so…

I remember meeting you in the sat there with your school bag, looking so bedraggled and lonely while you wept quietly over that little failed attempt at..fitting in…at failing to get that object of your attraction…

You looked so sad…

And here I came. Plopped myself next to you and shared a gulp of something fiery from my flask. Sure, I seemed older, talked a little pompously, but still, it was clear we shared the same ideals. Same tastes in music. The same love of horror. The same disdain for the status qou….

And so we became the best of friends didn’t we? Everyday after school and during, we met and hung out and talked.

You explained to me your hate of your terrible parents. You told me how they talked down to you, how they treated you like a child, how they imprisoned you with their rules yet ignored you for what you were. Ignored you for all the terrible strife you felt inside. You told me about all the terrible things done to you by those you were told to trust. The disappointment brought down upon you by the people you so admired in the past. And the unfair isolation you felt from your peers.

And your slow burning rage that you’ve kept inside and in check.

And what did I do for you? I validated your feelings. We talked at great lengths as to why you were right to feel your seething hate. I nurtured those daytime fantasies of watching them crawling on their bellies crying for your help. Of watching them burn along with this wretched town in fiery holocausts.

Didn’t I? And why wouldn’t I? I was your dearest friend.

Thats it, breathe calmly. In and out. No need to panic, you are with your best and only friend. Why even your parents approved of me didn’t they? Despite how terrible they were, the did at least want you to have a friend. And why wouldn’t they want me to be a good influence on you? I mean I practically knew the bible back and forth which apparently is a big seller with parental dopes. Soon enough, the darkness will lift and I will let you go.

You would sneak out at night and we would hang out on the roof of your school’s gym. Just talking. I’d sit and watch you write in your journal. So introspective by the way. You never discussed me though. I should feel hurt, but I dont. I’m glad you never did.

We talked under those stars about a wide range of things. Philosophy, Chemistry, religion, biology, Ends of the worlds, etc etc etc…

I filled your head with so many delightful things.

Oh how eager your little mind was to take in every bit of knowledge I had to give you. Oh how delightful it was to see someone just..absorb my ideals and ideas and assimilating them as their own.

You verbally lashed out to your parents….or sulked and brooded like your stereotype insists. You grew so angry as to insult everyone under your breath…realizing that everyone around you..not just the school’s high society .. but everyone…was an idiot. Everyone was nowhere near your level of comprehension of the world. OH such looked down on everyone…except me of course. I fed you everything you wanted. I gave you every little sycophantic morsel you so craved.

Ah…and now…It’s time for me to harvest all this effort and work.

Let me ask you something.. did you ever wonder why I looked so young..yet knew so much?

Yes, your mind is thinking that there is a myriad of creatures I could consider myself apart of. I’m sure one or two of them might actually fit the bill…but this doesn’t mean I’m going to reveal what I am to you…partly because it doesn’t matter to you anymore, but mostly because I know it will be a small little denial to add upon your suffering…

But I will say, that I have used my time wisely as to learn much about the ins and outs of certain arts and sciences.  A few examples of which, we talked at great lengths about on that roof top. Do you hear that by the by? The wind? The chill? You can guess where we are can’t you? Don’t worry, no one can see us.  At least not yet.

Now then, let me explain this to you.

I needed someone like you, not you in specific, any angst riddled sop who spits in the face of the gift of life that was given to him by wallowing in their own self pity. Anyone like that  would have done well enough. You’re just the lucky one.

I need to cause a very large amount of death in a large area in a largely viewed place with a  largely dramatic flair. The last part is mainly for my own preference.

Now then…you may be wondering why you can’t see anything…you may be wondering why you can’t talk…

We’ll get that soon enough..

But lets go over you wondering what will your parents be thinking right now…well…based on the trail I left them, they will be thinking …that you’re a maniac…an intelligent one of course…but a maniac none the less.

You see, I needed to spend that time with you in order to cultivate the angry façade, I needed to learn your handwriting so that I could forge documents and diaries in your name, I needed your parents to trust me enough to allow me inside your home where I could plant…rudimentary experiments with a  variety of household and easy to obtain chemicals and explosives. Is it all gestating in your brain yet?

The variety of chemicals your parents are discovering you experimented with as we speak is an extremely corrosive and aggressive mixture that when it comes in contact with human flesh, it burns and corrodes the soft tissue so quickly….you called it..well I technically called it.. 1412-Z. And the best part is, it can be delivered with a simple easy made bomb, in a wonderful gas state.

And it’s a pity some of it got on you so quickly…melting your eyes…melting your tongue…you had to know before you threw yourself off this roof once the bell to let out the classes rang.. everyone will get to see you explode into fragment of crimson sloppy wet chunks, which im sure will kill a few initially…but then gas will spread into your school’s yard..into the ventilation system…oh it will deliver it everywhere…killing so many people…And they will watch their own suffering as their eyes consume themselves while they still see…they’ll scream for help as their tongues consumes themselves as they still speak…and they’ll wallow in agony as every bit of their flesh  consumes itself while they still feel.

I’ve lead a trail bread crumbs…so that is… implicated to you…

You who so hate the world. You who so hate everyone at this school. You who brooded and sulked in the corner.  And everyone will think none the wiser.  I’m sure they’ll blame it on video games or some other misplaced idiocy.

And I will leave enough circumstantial evidence that I was consumed as well. Just to ensure no halfwit attempts to follow my tracks.

Oh I can tell by your expression that you want to know why…why so much chaos, death, and pain brought upon these people. What did they ever do to me? What can be done to save everybody?

Nothing my dearest companion. The truth of the matter is, this has nothing to do with their deaths…and everything to do with the media coverage. You see…well I guess you don’t see..I am doing this not because of some trifle or some psychotic need to sow chaos. But because I need a distraction…from what we are really doing. This school is just lucky.

Now then…that’s the bell…

Farewell my dearest friend.

# 6 “One Half of the Twins -The Madman’s Lover” by Barnabas Deimos



Majora Majora…


oh my dear…how we’ve come this far.

Wait..your little friend is awake…you filthy whore…I know you shared yourself with them..but still…I love you so much..

WAKE UP! You home wrecker!

You filthy filthy thing! You thought I wouldn’t get jealous that my beautiful Variola allowed herself with you?!

FILTHY! Look at you, you’re nothing more than a filthy home wrecker strapped to a chair…filthy filthy…

BUT…I digress, You’re going to be useful even if you are…disgusting.

Now then, lets see…last I recall you were in bed. All sprawled out like the spiders in my Head. Oh your god that rhymes doesn’t it! Such muse my love is…anyways… I greatly considered bashing your brain in with my efficiency award. I still have no idea why I thought to bring it with me but still it was there and it was tempting. But I needed you whole. Well mostly whole.

I put a few holes in you while you were out. With a quick quick strike with a needle needle.

Right to the veins! Right to veins!

And you’ve been given the glorious joy that my beautiful lover can give.

Mmm, can you feel that painful sensation crawling all over your skin?

Mmm yes, every time you move it’s like moving under sand paper isn’t it?

Move about more please. Please please please….give me what I want…Struggle struggle struggle..aaaaand POP POP POP POP POP!

There we go!Pustules were meant to be popped…

Aww, my beautiful lover has made you all…wet…viscous and sloppily wet…

By the by…do you know where we are? You don’t do you? Do you hear that drip drip drip sound? NO nonono not the sounds of your wounds sloppily dripping…

The sound of that running water…all that lovely water…

yes…we are in a water treatment plant..fresh fresh clean water…just aching to be with my beautiful beautiful Variola…

What..what’s that my dear…? Of course YOUUUU can’t survive for too long in that hideously clean water…but our friend can..our friend can…


But yes, despite so rude an interruption to be looked at in that tone of voice…this filthy thing, is helping me bring our friend together with you..with you my love..

I am jealous still.. first you’re inside this filthy thing..and now you’re inside…you’re fucking our friend..evolving..producing…creating…stronger versions of yourself…taking all the wonderful gifts me and brother gave to it when we created it…

Mmmm…so many children being birthed…with all the invulnerabilities we fathered..including a much longer survivability outside of the body…and with all symptoms and terror that you my love, my precious love, bring about in the minds these brain addled filthy sheep.

Baa…baaa…baaa…filthy little things soon to be dead.

Why are you at looking as if I am talking to you?

You filthy thing…you filthy filthy…human thing…Just because I’ve had you for several days in my presence to cultivate to be at maximum virulence doesn’t mean I AM TALKING TO YOU! Your kind is so selfish…

What’s going through your head right now? Whats going on in your filthy little head?

Filthy human thing. Crawling around in the dirt…not really caring how long your lives are…well guess what…your lives mean nothing in the span of time…watching things like you snuff out like candles..while we…we persist…what? Whats that? Your face…your face is so least I think it so covered in pustules I can’t tell!

Im sure youre confused…i don’t really care…maybe I do…I am not sure..hmm…well since you can’t see, I’ll tell you! I am after all a kind thing unlike you filthy little things…

but how can I see your eyes, you wonder… if youre face is so covered in my lover’s children?!

I removed those little orbs prior to the fun. I’ve been rolling them about…trying to desperately not to smash them just yet. Why you ask? BECAUSE I WANT TO! Don’t dare tell me that I need a reason for something! You don’t govern me!

But I have been doing my best to keep them nice and moist still..But much like chewing gum, they lose their taste….But saliva does do a wonderful job at keeping them moist…

hmm…its almost time..almost time…tick tick tock…

(kefka theme hum)

Now then…you my little filthy human package..will drop down down into this delightfully clean water bit by agonizing bit…Contaminating it…spreading my lover’s children all about the tired sleepy little town you call home that this will feed…

WHY?! WHY?! WHY!! you furrowed brow seems to reason…diversion…boredom…they point me when I need to be pointed…and I do what needs to be done…Of course they just told me to mix my lover and her friend together in a vial and drop them in. BUT WHY DO THAT WHEN THIS IS LESS BORING!?

Cut cut cut, cut you up. And drop drop drop you bit by bit.’re looking at me like that again. STOP IT! I DON’T LIKE YOUR FILTHY LITTLE HUMAN FACE’S SMUG SENSE OF SUPERIORITY OVER ME! EVEN IN FEAR YOU STILL TRY TO USE IT!

Let’s get rid of it shall we..

there we go! No more face..and it goes so well with your eyeballs… I think ill mount them both on a dog or something and let it run about somewhere…you had one didn’t you?

OH WELL no time to chat…time to get you out of here…now lets see…where should I start first?

That’s an excellent suggestion my beautiful Variola Majora! Lets start with the soles and work our way up…

“The Pick Up” by Barnabas Deimos

You came into that corner store looking for something to take your mind off your life.

When you came though, you knew full well what you were looking for.


You knew I was there, that I would always be there. Its just how it works out. And so many others have tried to pick me up from there. People full of bravado or full of the belief that they are special. But in reality they’re full of shit. Im there for just a specific type of person…your type.

You came in with bewildered eyes, perusing the shop. But your gaze landed squarely on my back. You stared longing at me for quite some time didn’t you? I could tell. Though my back was to you, I could tell.

And you walked towards me, confidently, with the words “I want you” on your lips.

And who was I to fight that? You bought yourself some random items to pretend you were not just there to find something dark, handsome, and inviting.

And you could just not wait to bring me home could you?

We plopped together on the couch, snuggled up close under a blanket. Ah romance…such a fun game prior to the true events.

You flipped on the television, pretending you would only give me a partial bit of your attention. As if you could play hard to get with me. You’re dragged your fingers across my sides absent mindedly as you watched some inane sitcom. But I could tell by your touch, that you wanted what I had to offer you.

And so you did, you removed my jacket forcibly with your hands. Such tedious unnessecary things covering me, if you ask me. For in truth I would prefer to be left bare to you.

And soon we were face to face. Buried in each other. You staring into me and me staring into you.

Your explored the first layer of me. I wanted so much for you to go deeper as quickly as possible. But alas, all good things to those who wait.

And then whats this? You lifted me up, and dragged me to the bedroom. Quickly as the flash, you disrobed and found yourself jumping into the bed with me. So quick! So to the point.

Yes lets get to the gritty of it.

Again open before you, you traced your nails down my spine, as you grew more and more interested and what I was offering you.

We rolled together as its always so hard to find a good comfortable position when your you are entertaining someone in a bed.

You find that right spot for the two of us, and I begin to truly work my magic on you.

I give you bit by increasing bit. Making your heartbeat race, your breath quicken, and filling your mind with fireworks. You bite your lower lip as you anticipate with excitement what’s to happen next. It always so much fun to let people on before the reality of the situation begins.

I reach out and grab you, the tools that I was given at birth that had been providing you such wonderful feelings, begin to feel amiss.

Something is wrong…but its too late now isn’t it. I have you hooked and wrapped in my gaze and in my power. And oh such wonderful visions to be had. Where I am king. Where I was created. Where I was brought into life just for this purpose. To bring you here. To show you this place.

The darkness of the age old human feeling. The strongest emotions. The terrible things that once and still do lurk beneath your bed and outside your window. The grotesque mistakes of the natural form and the obscene recreation by man’s own hands. The claws of the alien beings beyond this world and this reality, the monstrous contortions of the things that are of this world but long forgotten.

Terrible visages of wretched flesh and sanguine displays of artistry. Where meat and clay become one. Where the mind is more than just some abstract thing.

And where little pet, are nothing more than my irredeemable slave. You can not look away from these things im filling your head with can you? You keep your arms wrapped around me. You can not look away from my gaze as it tears through your psyche and plants my terrible seeds for you to cultivate.

And as quickly as it came, it comes to a thundering, gut wrenching, sickening, squelching..end.

You find yourself shivering as you realize its over.

You gasp for air, and hold me close to your body.

Exhausted, you fall into a deep slumber where the seeds I had laid begin to grow. Tendrils reaching through your brain reshowing you everything you had just witnessed. But the beauty of that you r mind…retools it…reworks it…and makes it worse…soon you are crushed and suffocated by the immense weight of the horrific things swelling in your mind like a cancerous tumor.

You look at me in your arms…

And you know full well…i can do it again..and again and again…and that deep down inside…you want me too…
Of course you want me to …. after all thats why you were looking for me….when you walked into that book shop on the corner…and walked purposefully to the horror section..and pulled me…off the shelf.

“I Still Love You” by Barnabas Deimos

I still love you….I can’t help it. It’s in my nature to still want you…this life we had together.

And it’s all coming to an end for you. It’s all coming to a wonderfully,

anticlimactic ending that only you…Only you get to partake of. The ending of this life.

For everyone else, it will be a wonderful beginning.

How rigid is that bed? How wretched do those tubes and needles feel

interlaced into your leathery flesh? How horrible the sounds of the beeping and pumping machines that provide a rhythmic orchestra to the end of your earthly existence?

And your family and friends? They care nothing for you at this point. All your life you used them, you abused them, you terrified them in the most heinous ways.  You hid behind closed doors to do wretched things and performed feats of the grotesque in the eyes of the public. But you didn’t care. And here you are. Alone. Wretchedly alone as your death rattle starts to squeeze its way out of your throat.

How does it feel to meet this all alone?

Except Me.

I’ve always been there. I had waited for you to notice me. I had loved you. And all I had wanted from you was to notice me and everything I had done for you. All I had wanted from you was to love me. And it elated me when you finally did.

Oh the times we had together. Thieving, Lusting, and Destroying. Together in this earthly Eden of carnality which I had laid before you because you wanted it so.

Together you and I. You murdered to eat, you killed to get high, you mutilated to satisfy your desires, and you slaughtered for fun. And I…I watched with a smile. Oh how I loved you then.

And then came the day you overdosed. The doctors took you in and revived

you only for a horrific discovery. In their tests they discovered your cells had been metastasizing within your organs. With days left to live. How coincidental you should be rushed here to be saved, only to discover you can’t be.

You called your mother, and you called your father. Your sisters and brothers. Your friends from childhood. But never the junkies and monsters you had befriended along your merry path of self destruction.

It was then I knew you would try to abandon me. And you indeed tried.

You said to them all in your pitiful whimpering voice “I’m scared.”

But your pitiful cowardice wasn’t what disgusted or hurt me. What hurt me.

It was the fact you blamed me for your misdeeds! You begged for their forgiveness of MY part. It was not my hand that did those things. It was yours.

YOURS ALONE. I merely presented the situations for you because that’s what your heart wanted.

I watched you sit in your hospital bed as you ignored me. Ignored me!

ME who had given you everything you had ever wanted in you miserable existence. You spurned me as if I were something to be cast aside. Like the toy of an errant child attempting to grow up…

No…No. Not grow up. Just looking for someone else to take care of you because you felt I was to blame.

But no one else is going to take care of you. No one else is going to save you. You believed you could reject me. That you could renounce me….

But no one wants you now. It’s too late my dearest companion. We’ve been together far too long and its far too little and too late to go back on the years we enjoyed.

You don’t get to say when this relationship of ours ends. I do.

So go ahead, beg and plead. Scream to the sky with your last breaths… It will not avail you.

Cry for Him to open the door to you. Cry for him to open his arms for you.

He’ll stay closed while I…I am waiting patiently for you. My door is always open…my arms are always ready for you…  And we have an eternity of enjoyment and excitement to experience together. Oh such dark miracles and tortuous ecstasies await us.

I will squeeze every last drop of sinful rapture and agonizing excitement out of you…

Whether you want to or not…

Because I love you…